1+1+1: Questions
We get a larger life by asking larger questions.
When we were toddlers, our questions were understandably small.
Who will take care of me?
What do I need to do to receive approval?
Can you teach me what the world is about and how it works?
There’s nothing wrong with such questions. We needed them to help us find our way in the world. But if they’re still at the centre of our decision-making as adults, they may be still steering our lives.
When we stay with these questions, we stay small. We perpetuate, however unconsciously, an ongoing dependency on our ‘caretakers’—looking to others for their answers and approval.
If our current answers are no longer serving us, it may be time to upgrade our questions.
As David Cooperrider attests, “We live in the world our questions create.”
We need questions that create quests. Questions that help us think and see different; questions that compassionately engage our resistance to change (through curiosity rather than judgement); questions that draw out new creative energy for adventure.
We get a larger life by asking larger questions. What are those questions? Perhaps the poem below holds a few; perhaps you already sense some of your own, waiting to be asked.
Quote
“One of the most exciting and energetic forms of thought is the question. I always think that the question is like a lantern. It illuminates new landscapes and new areas as it moves. Therefore, the question always assumes that there are many different dimensions to a thought that you are either blind to our that are not available to you. So a question is really one of the forms in which wonder expresses itself. One of the reasons we wonder is because we are limited, and that limitation is one of the great gateways of wonder.”
—John O’Donohue
Question
What question have you been waiting to ask?
And what question has been waiting for you to be ready to follow it?
Poem
Relic From the Future
Questions found on an antique cell phone
discovered in 2086 in the ruins of an airport
when people traveled by plane: What if I let
love in all the way? Why am I always leaving?
What is it that stirs me about being caught?
Though I never wanted safe, why have I settled
for safe? Why do I keep running, when I have
no interest in moving? How do I say yes more
often? How do I stop reliving the past? How can
I learn to use my freedom? Having lived most of
my life in fear of what’s coming, how can I find
meaning where I am? How can I stop playing
small? How can I put down the upset of not
getting what I want? How can I better see the
unseen? How can I die to old ways of being?
How can I let what wants to be born in me
have its way? Now that I’ve been helped,
how can I find the strength to help others?
Just what is my work? And what will it
take to taste the honey?
—Mark Nepo
Thanks for reading! And on the theme of questions…
Along with my friend and collaborator, Colin Macrae, we’re rolling out more and more of the Personal Brand Wayfinder—our custom framework and guide to help creative people live and lead from essence.
A few weeks ago, we had more than 60 amazing people come and learn more during our online “launch event”—it was great to see some of you there! In order to support people to do this work, we’ve built a cohort experience that we’re really excited about.
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DM me if you’d like to learn more or have any questions.
Hi there! 👋 My name’s Lance - I’m a writer, coach, and learning designer from Vancouver BC, Canada. In my work as a professional certified coach, I help people create the future. I truly believe that the future is made by the conversations we can and cannot have. If you want to know more about my practice or how we could work together, drop me a line. It’d be great to meet you. Thanks for stopping by.
